Medicine

medicine

Medicine (noun)
a compound or preparation used for the treatment or prevention of disease, especially a drug or drugs taken by mouth

As Grace Slick said so many years ago, “one pill makes you larger, and one pill makes you small…”

As we are all aware, medicines to treat multiple sclerosis are not cheap, nor are they affordable. But many of us, myself included, will agree that they are part of what keeps us moving, literally. Admittedly many of us pay little or nothing out of pocket owing to patient assistance programs, but those programs wouldn’t be needed if the cost wasn’t astronomical out of the gate. And to clarify, I am not talking about new medicines, although that’s helping to drive the problem, I’m talking about medicines that have been on the market for many years, like Avonex.

When I started on treatment in June, 2009, Avonex retailed at $26k per year. Fast forward to 2019, and take a guess, no really, take a guess what a drug approved in 2002 costs, give up? On average, about $87k per year, give or take, so a $60k increase in just 10 years. And each time I receive the insert for my quarterly supply, it goes up, and up, and up, and up. I used to feel bad about having to take a medicine that was so expensive, but considering my contributions to society, and the taxes I pay, it means I continue to contribute to the cost of developing medicines. So round and round we go.

While it’s true that the list price is rarely paid by anyone, having that be the ceiling means that people also pay more out of pocket (co-pay) when all is said and done. And people on Medicare and Medicaid are unable to participate in the patient assistance programs, thanks to president 43. Nor are government agencies able to negotiate the cost of medicines, like every other developed country, which means the United States is subsidizing the cost of research and development for the rest of the world.

Patents also factor into the costs of meds, but explaining that, would quite literally, do your head in. And most recently the skyrocketing cost of insulin and epipens, which leads to rationing (and do you take your insulin or eat?), and subsequently people being sicker, which in turn impacts the cost of their healthcare (and everyone’s).

For this post I will only be looking at people who have insurance. The next image is clear as mud since there are so many hands in the cookie jar, and because if you try to ask the cost of a medicine, you will get 100 different answers and that’s based on how the hands all negotiate the list price. Next to housing, healthcare is the biggest expense most people have, and yet we have no say in negotiating costs, unlike just about every other big expense in our lives. IMG_0613

We have the pharmaceutical company, the insurance company, the pharmacy benefits management (PBM) companies, and the consumer (general public). And some might also include politicians, since they get their share as well (contributions to the committee members referenced below), but in a different way. Though one can argue that campaign contributions also add to the high cost of medicines (see Citizen’s United – the content of the advertising speaks for itself).

Everyone above takes their cut, mind you, while I have issues with insurance companies arbitrarily deciding what medicines people should be allowed to take (a decision that SHOULD be between my doctor and me), the PBMs such as Express-Scripts (Accredo), CVS Caremark, etc. are just plain scourge of the earth. I have been doing battle with them for years. These are two of the largest PBMs thanks to monopolies and insurance companies buying them up. See the complaints for both Express-Scripts and CVS Caremark and these are just from Consumer Affairs. Facebook and Twitter are riddled with 10s of thousands of complaints about both companies.

The argument is that mail order / specialty pharmacies are better suited to taking care of medicines for diseases like MS, and I can tell you that this is just.not.true.! Imagine having to beg a giant corporation to do their job effectively, like something as basic as ordering a refill on an app, and that refill never being transferred to the specialty arm of the pharmacy. And financially, my local pharmacy has told me time and again, that they can, and do, handle specialty medicines with ease. And having that personal connection to someone is way better than talking to a toll-free number, where they couldn’t care less about whether or not your medicine is delivered on time or within proper temperature controls.

So while I will never begrudge a company making a profit, unnecessarily high costs (set by pharmaceutical companies), stop gaps (PBMs), and senior leadership salaries and bonuses, on the backs of people who need these medicines, is downright offensive. On top of that, direct to consumer marketing, only allowed in the United States, and New Zealand, is a $10b a year (U.S.) expenditure. As the saying goes, if it didn’t work, they wouldn’t do it.

Pharmaceutical companies argue that raising the cost of current medicines is what allows them to develop new and innovative treatments. However consider that basic research is typically started at the NIH, and then the pharmaceutical industry runs with it, taxpayers (us) already fund part of the development of medicines.

On Monday, February 25, congress held a public all day session with the top seven pharmaceutical companies. I have worked in the industry for almost 25 years, and even I learned from watching it. Albeit long,  it’s definitely worth it to understand the issues and challenges. And I can also say that all of the colleagues I have encountered over the years, do genuinely want to find cures and help people living with diseases. At issue is having shareholders and developing medicines for people who need them, is, in fact, an ultimate conflict of interest.

Pharmaceutical companies participating in above:
AbbVie
AstraZeneca
Bristol-Myers Squibb
Johnson & Johnson
Merck
Pfizer
Sanofi

“What keeps you up at night?”
None of heads of the companies said – the cost of medicines

Why in the United States do some think that healthcare should be a privilege, as opposed to a birth right? Cost of medicines is a highly complex issue, but does it need to be?

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Rest

Banksy - relax don't quit

Rest (noun)
the refreshing quiet or repose of sleep

The last few weeks I’ve been going non-stop with work (a good problem to have), but last night MS said, whoa Nelly, no can do, shutting ‘er down. So while I got a good night sleep, this morning my body still had other ideas.

At the beginning of this long distance marathon a day like today would make me hate myself. But now, now I know if it takes a few hours of recharging to keep going, no one is calling me to the OR, so I’m ok with it. Please don’t feel bad, because I’m not sick, just temporarily out of order.

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Year

Year

 

Year (noun)
the period of about 3651/4 solar days required for one revolution of the earth around the sun

Whenever I think about the length of a calendar year, I can’t help but think of Rent. I remember seeing the Broadway production and thinking anything was possible. I used to think that about NYE, and inevitably would be let down by the seemingly over the top expectations on what the shift from one year to the next should bring. After all, Tuesday still comes after Monday.

Now I think of a year as any 365 days, wherein any morning you wake up can be the start of something new, it doesn’t need to wait until January 1. And I might argue that it’s probably easier to sneak new things under the radar any old day of the week.

I’m learning how not to dwell in the past and find myself getting annoyed with those “best” and “worst” lists or even more horrid, New Year’s resolutions. Every 365 days will have all of these things because life can be wonderful and messy all at the same time, but I guess that’s what keeps it interesting.

2018 was wonderful for me personally, professionally, and health-wise. I’m moving out of another year without having an MS flare-up because I just don’t have time for it. And while I’m shatteringly exhausted from politics and bad, self-serving people, I still believe that as a nation those are the sum of our parts and not the whole, and we will persevere.

Happy, healthy, prosperous to all and thanks for reading.

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Walk

Reservoir

Walk (verb)
to move along on foot

The above picture is of my happy place in Central Park. One of my favorite things to do in the cold weather is to walk the reservoir (the colder the temps, the better), named after Jacqueline (Kennedy) Onassis who lived nearby on the Upper East Side.

I’ve never been quite sure why it’s my happy place. Nothing in particular ever took place there, other than I think it’s amazing to have this little body of water that ducks love to hang in right in the middle of the city. And each time I approach it from the west side, I just feel happy.

It’s not lost on me that 10.5 years into the onset of the MS symptoms, walking outside is one of my favorite activities. I can walk for blocks and blocks in the city and never get bored of the sights. In December of 2008, the symptoms that I had experienced a few months prior, were a distant memory. And as shed tears of joy the neurologist (who has since become mine) that I saw once that month told me that he didn’t consider it first onset, and that I didn’t have MS. If memory serves, I didn’t walk, but rather skipped, out of his office that day.

Three months later, all of that would change, and not only did the symptoms come back, but other new ones joined them and they were fierce this time. Tingling and numbness from my feet over my stomach. But, being it’s the “but you look so good disease,” no one could tell by looking at me, because I had no trouble walking. Two weeks later in April of 2009 I would be officially diagnosed. And yet I still walked out of the hospital after receiving the test results. A little more banged up, but walking just the same.

In those early days I lived in constant fear of losing mobility and vision (neither has ever happened so far – or at least the times I bump a toe or shin on my bed frame seems pretty normal for my age) since I’d seen so many who had come before me go through it. Why would I be different?

It’s only been in the last few years of not having a flare-up, where I’ve started to not think so much about those two issues. I’m trying to keep it that way, but when you’re told that a+b=c, and you know c, but don’t know a or b, how does that happen? Is it the medicine I’ve been taking for almost 10 years, working from home, anti-depressant, cannabis (mostly CBD), exercising, music, family, friends? I guess the answer is yes?! While it’s easy(er) to feel positive about walking into the future when you feel well, that’s just what I intend to do.

Happy, healthy, New Year to all!

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Anniversary

1 Year

Anniversary (noun)
the annual recurrence of a date marking a notable event

April 15 is an anniversary and birthday. It’s been nine years since my multiple sclerosis diagnosis, and a year since this blog was launched.

Nine years since diagnosis and that means almost TEN years since symptom onset. Some days seems like it was a lifetime ago and others, just yesterday.

I was talking to someone a few days ago and I realized it’s hard to even remember a time before MS, before the tingling, before the numbness, before the fear. BUT because there are so many more good days now, those too often fade into a blurry haze of the past.

Last year someone said to me “you just don’t have time for a flare-up this year” and I proceeded to walk around with that in my head EVERY day. And I didn’t have a flare-up. Now I’m not a big woo person, but I guess sometimes the power of suggestion is very powerful. What also REALLY helped was our cold, long winter. It made me EXTREMELY happy and healthy. Ideally I would love to never have spring and summer and live somewhere that it’s cold or cool all year round. And then I remember I’m 110% a NY girl.

I want to thank family, friends, and strangers who support me and have embraced this blog. I love seeing where the readers come from, near and far. I hope that one day in my lifetime this blog won’t be needed, but until it is, thank you, thank you, thank you for looking.

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Sick

Sick

Sick (adjective)
affected by physical or mental illness

Tis the season. In the beginning, back in 2009, after my diagnosis and starting treatment, I got sick. Like normal, regular, sick. It caught me off guard because, well duh, now that I had multiple sclerosis, clearly I was immune to the likes of viruses?! Yeah, no.

Each sniffle, cough, headache, turned into a phone call to my neurologist. He assured me that yes, I can still get run of the mill sick and that it was really just a matter of re-learning my body, and that no I definitely was not going to die from having a cold.

What it did do was make me more in tune with the rhythm of my body as I hadn’t been prior. I paid more attention to the sniffles, headaches, and coughs, whereas in the past I would have just moved on or not even notice. Now I had two autoimmune diseases to manage, while being completely insulted that I could still get run-of-the-mill ill.

Fast-forward eight plus years since my diagnosis, I’ve noticed that I actually get “normal sick” less than before. Said neurologist told me that “they” think there is some protective factor from the medicine I take for the multiple sclerosis, though it’s anecdotal.

Lately I’ve been traveling like a road warrior, which I didn’t think would ever happen again. I didn’t think my body could hold up to this type of work, travel, intensity. And while it’s not perfect, and I’m definitely older than I was when I used to do it, I’m more than holding my own with my business and travel. Sure I have gastroenteritis with a cold as a cherry on top, and I have to watch that the asthma is managed, and desperately hope my currently overactive, fighting these bugs, immune system doesn’t cause an MS flare-up, I can still trust in myself and my body.

Lest you think otherwise, I am so proper sick. From my head to my toes, body ache, tissue mounds on the floor, ordering extra Scott from Amazon…sick. Now excuse me while I go back to the “library” to answer the song of the gastroenteritis minstrels.

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Compare

Compare

Compare (verb)
estimate, measure, or note the similarity or dissimilarity between

I was laying in bed one weekend morning a few weeks ago thinking about how much more I could be doing to grow my business, but then also thinking, how much business I was actually doing each week.

I’ve looked on LinkedIn and read about how people say you must have a business plan, and others who say you don’t if you’re doing what you already know. So as not to keep you holding your breath wondering, I dove in, feet first with little to no fear for the unknown or future. Because when you live with a disease like multiple sclerosis, you spend a lot of time comparing your current life to the one bMS (before MS).

A few weeks prior to this someone I know said I could never do what you’re doing professionally because it’s too uncertain. So now someone else was comparing themselves to me! To which I replied, how do you know that you’re going to have a job tomorrow? The answer, you don’t. So I am willing to bet on myself and not compare where I am currently to previous experiences, good or bad.

As we move about our daily lives both in person and online, it’s natural to make comparisons to others, both every day individuals and famous people. We’re told not to compare ourselves, because you never know the shoes someone else is walking in, but it’s inherent. It’s part of our DNA, to measure ourselves against others. We’re taught it from infants developing like our peers, grades, sports, arts, magazines, movies, TV, etc. How are you doing compared to the other?

And it’s not just about Oprah, Bill & Melinda Gates, or Sonia Sotomayor, we now have people who get their start on YouTube and Instagram. There are cats and dogs (and a baby giraffe) who are more notable than I will ever be, no, truly.  People will say, but don’t look at those things, which is impossible given it’s our way of life right now, and part of mine both personally (this blog and other mediums) and professionally.

I have a voice and a story and this is my way to get it out. Recently, I’ve had little wins where this blog and other social media accounts have been promoted by a very large multiple sclerosis organization totally unprompted. And people have told me they’ve been helped by MY story and MY experience. So, maybe one day, I will be as notable as your favorite dog or cat. But either way it’s ok, because I’m me and don’t need to be compared. 

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