to move along on foot
The above picture is of my happy place in Central Park. One of my favorite things to do in the cold weather is to walk the reservoir (the colder the temps, the better), named after Jacqueline (Kennedy) Onassis who lived nearby on the Upper East Side.
I’ve never been quite sure why it’s my happy place. Nothing in particular ever took place there, other than I think it’s amazing to have this little body of water that ducks love to hang in right in the middle of the city. And each time I approach it from the west side, I just feel happy.
It’s not lost on me that 10.5 years into the onset of the MS symptoms, walking outside is one of my favorite activities. I can walk for blocks and blocks in the city and never get bored of the sights. In December of 2008, the symptoms that I had experienced a few months prior, were a distant memory. And as shed tears of joy the neurologist (who has since become mine) that I saw once that month told me that he didn’t consider it first onset, and that I didn’t have MS. If memory serves, I didn’t walk, but rather skipped, out of his office that day.
Three months later, all of that would change, and not only did the symptoms come back, but other new ones joined them and they were fierce this time. Tingling and numbness from my feet over my stomach. But, being it’s the “but you look so good disease,” no one could tell by looking at me, because I had no trouble walking. Two weeks later in April of 2009 I would be officially diagnosed. And yet I still walked out of the hospital after receiving the test results. A little more banged up, but walking just the same.
In those early days I lived in constant fear of losing mobility and vision (neither has ever happened so far – or at least the times I bump a toe or shin on my bed frame seems pretty normal for my age) since I’d seen so many who had come before me go through it. Why would I be different?
It’s only been in the last few years of not having a flare-up, where I’ve started to not think so much about those two issues. I’m trying to keep it that way, but when you’re told that a+b=c, and you know c, but don’t know a or b, how does that happen? Is it the medicine I’ve been taking for almost 10 years, working from home, anti-depressant, cannabis (mostly CBD), exercising, music, family, friends? I guess the answer is yes?! While it’s easy(er) to feel positive about walking into the future when you feel well, that’s just what I intend to do.
Happy, healthy, New Year to all!
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