Tag: vulnerable

Masking

Masking (verb)
– cover (the face) with a mask
– conceal (something) from view

The English language is a tricky bugger. We have so many words that mean different things. Take actual masking which everyone has become intimately involved with in the last three years (or not).

One form of masking is visible with some kind of face covering. The other is not so visible meaning you look one way on the outside and another inside. To coin a phrase from The Breakfast Club, “you see us how you want to see us.”

As humans, we are wired to seek acceptance and belonging. To fit in, we often wear masks, concealing our true emotions, fears, and insecurities. We convince ourselves that vulnerability is a weakness, fearing judgment and rejection.

In a world that often emphasizes the need to present ourselves as strong and put-together, many of us find ourselves wearing masks to hide our true emotions and struggles. Masking our mental health can lead to increased stress, isolation, and a lack of support.

My favorite phrase is, “what you see is what you get.” And I guess 90% of the time that’s totally true. But, o0f, that 10% like what I’m feeling now, that’s a doozy. When the devil feels like it’s sitting on both shoulders, telling you just slightly above a whisper that you’re useless.

During those 10% times, it’s everything I can do to get through the day professionally. When I’m done with work, there is less than zero in the tank to take care of me. They say not to make permanent decisions about temporary problems, but sometimes the whispers turn to shouts and the ruminating and pain bears the weight of the world down on your body.

When subscribing to the blog, please check your email (in box and spam/junk) for the confirmation note. Once confirmed, you’re good to go and will receive posts.

Fear

Fear

Fear (noun)
an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger

There is so much to fear on a daily basis, it’s a wonder most of us can leave the house on a daily basis.

There are the types of fear that seem to lurk in the background, like dark spaces, spiders, snakes (both do I loathe the latter two!), and other things that go bump in the night.

Then there is the fear of speaking in front of people or going on a stage or singing in front of people. It’s interesting to me that when I speak with people who act or sing regularly about their ability to make themselves so vulnerable, I’m often met with responses that suggest low or lack of self esteem, which seems like such a dichotomy. How can a person willingly make themselves to vulnerable, and yet fear that very act of vulnerability at the same time.

The fear of losing loved ones and close friends, from long drawn out diseases, to sudden deaths, or just old age. The fear of going on without these people in your life.

We are moving into one of my favorite seasons, fall, although winter is my very favorite-est. And with that comes the fear of having a flare-up and living with a progressive, neurological disease can play tricks on your mind. The anxiety can help drive that fear. Different treatments like CBD or anti-depressants/anti-anxieties can help, as can exercising. Fortunately I’ve found a combination that works for me. It doesn’t stop fear from creeping in at highly inconvenient times, it just means that when it does, I have the tools and resources to help my brain realize that it is playing tricks on me.

When subscribing to the blog, please check your email (in box and spam/junk) for the confirmation note. Once you confirm, you’re good to go and will receive posts.