Tag: tricks

Enough

Enough

Enough (noun)
occurring in such quantity, quality, or scope as to fully meet demands, needs, or expectations

This week was a marathon in not feeling like enough. I’m trying to figure out at what point in life do we a) know we are enough or b) it just doesn’t matter anymore?

I wish I could feel like either on any given day, but then I wonder if it’s tied to always wanting to do my best whether professionally or personally. And to this day it feels like so many others I know are more than enough.

Most days it is relatively easy to look beyond the mess and imperfections, but in the blink of a moment, something can cross your path in the course of a day, and a 180 happens, and it’s more than enough to feel like enough.

One of the things I often remind myself, that even in the throes of the worst MS flare-ups I’ve had, I have been more than enough, and more than most who don’t have my respective burden. But sometimes, even that isn’t enough.

So when exactly are we enough?

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Fear

Fear

Fear (noun)
an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger

There is so much to fear on a daily basis, it’s a wonder most of us can leave the house on a daily basis.

There are the types of fear that seem to lurk in the background, like dark spaces, spiders, snakes (both do I loathe the latter two!), and other things that go bump in the night.

Then there is the fear of speaking in front of people or going on a stage or singing in front of people. It’s interesting to me that when I speak with people who act or sing regularly about their ability to make themselves so vulnerable, I’m often met with responses that suggest low or lack of self esteem, which seems like such a dichotomy. How can a person willingly make themselves to vulnerable, and yet fear that very act of vulnerability at the same time.

The fear of losing loved ones and close friends, from long drawn out diseases, to sudden deaths, or just old age. The fear of going on without these people in your life.

We are moving into one of my favorite seasons, fall, although winter is my very favorite-est. And with that comes the fear of having a flare-up and living with a progressive, neurological disease can play tricks on your mind. The anxiety can help drive that fear. Different treatments like CBD or anti-depressants/anti-anxieties can help, as can exercising. Fortunately I’ve found a combination that works for me. It doesn’t stop fear from creeping in at highly inconvenient times, it just means that when it does, I have the tools and resources to help my brain realize that it is playing tricks on me.

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