Year

Year

Year (noun)
the period of about 3651/4 solar days required for one revolution of the earth around the sun

The greatest teacher failure is – Yoda

365 messy opportunities
365 days of uncertainty
365 days of wonder

What will you do with your next 365 days? When people ask me what it’s like to live with multiple sclerosis the first thing that comes to mind is add more uncertainty into a life that is already uncertain. Sometimes it’s mundane, sometimes it fucking sucks, and sometimes opportunities arise that wouldn’t otherwise.

At the beginning of this year it definitely fucking sucked, but 364 uncertain days later, well, it’s not just ok, but it’s pretty amazing. It’s easy to focus on the diddints, as in I didn’t win the lottery, I didn’t lose those 10 or 50lbs, or I didn’t master the art of baking, BUT…

I DID start my own business, I DID travel overseas to see good friends and to new places, I DID spend time with people I love, I DID start this blog and accompanying social media, I DID start a great fitness routine (more after the New Year!), I DID create new memories, and I DO look forward to the next 365 adventurous days to come.

I wish you good health, happiness, prosperity, and loads of DIDs for the New Year.

PS – And I DIDN’T have a flare-up this year. I was just too busy DOING the above DIDs. And that’s a good DIDN’T.

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Compare

Compare

Compare (verb)
estimate, measure, or note the similarity or dissimilarity between

I was laying in bed one weekend morning a few weeks ago thinking about how much more I could be doing to grow my business, but then also thinking, how much business I was actually doing each week.

I’ve looked on LinkedIn and read about how people say you must have a business plan, and others who say you don’t if you’re doing what you already know. So as not to keep you holding your breath wondering, I dove in, feet first with little to no fear for the unknown or future. Because when you live with a disease like multiple sclerosis, you spend a lot of time comparing your current life to the one bMS (before MS).

A few weeks prior to this someone I know said I could never do what you’re doing professionally because it’s too uncertain. So now someone else was comparing themselves to me! To which I replied, how do you know that you’re going to have a job tomorrow? The answer, you don’t. So I am willing to bet on myself and not compare where I am currently to previous experiences, good or bad.

As we move about our daily lives both in person and online, it’s natural to make comparisons to others, both every day individuals and famous people. We’re told not to compare ourselves, because you never know the shoes someone else is walking in, but it’s inherent. It’s part of our DNA, to measure ourselves against others. We’re taught it from infants developing like our peers, grades, sports, arts, magazines, movies, TV, etc. How are you doing compared to the other?

And it’s not just about Oprah, Bill & Melinda Gates, or Sonia Sotomayor, we now have people who get their start on YouTube and Instagram. There are cats and dogs (and a baby giraffe) who are more notable than I will ever be, no, truly.  People will say, but don’t look at those things, which is impossible given it’s our way of life right now, and part of mine both personally (this blog and other mediums) and professionally.

I have a voice and a story and this is my way to get it out. Recently, I’ve had little wins where this blog and other social media accounts have been promoted by a very large multiple sclerosis organization totally unprompted. And people have told me they’ve been helped by MY story and MY experience. So, maybe one day, I will be as notable as your favorite dog or cat. But either way it’s ok, because I’m me and don’t need to be compared. 

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Body

body-shape

Body (noun)
the physical structure of a person or an animal, including the bones, flesh, and organs

For as long as I can remember I’ve had a like/hate relationship with my body. Growing up society norms were dictated by magazines, TV, movies, stores, and peers. And with the advent of the Internet we now have a narcissistic streaming medium in our faces 24/7. When you Google “I hate my body” you come up with 78,400,000 hits in under one minute. Seventy-eight MILLION, four hundred thousand!

In the last few years the body positive movement has taken off. I believe in feeling comfortable in your skin, but overall health is important too. The one that has resonated with me is the Body Image Movement. Taryn Brumfitt is an Australian lady who after competing as a body builder, and working out for months and months, many hours each day, said enough. She set out around the globe with a shoe-string budget to interview women of all looks. Her documentary Embrace is truly a global movement. Every woman, man, teen, child, should watch this movie, it’s that important.

It took me a while to watch the documentary, but one day while on the treadmill, I gave it a go. As the speed and incline increased, so too did the silent tears streaming down my face. As Taryn’s and countless other women’s stories unfolded, I saw some of each of them in me. Her movie is available on Netflix, Amazon, iTunes, amongst others.

When asked if they like their body, 80% of women will answer with a resounding no. And on top of that girls as young as four think they are fat and are already comparing themselves to unrealistic, unattainable, bodies.

Three years ago I started working out with my trainer, now sorta, kinda older brother I never really wanted. When we met I told him if he was going to tell me I couldn’t have chocolate anymore, he could turn around and walk out because I would NEVER be that person. In the nine months that followed I lost 18lbs.

My goal was to build strength and a side effect of that was weight loss. I felt great and looked good. I didn’t really change my diet as much as my sugar cravings went away to be replaced by healthier options. And then I had a bad flare-up resulting in IV steroids and other meds for side effect management. It took a good six months to feel better, and although I exercised on and off I didn’t truly get my groove back until much later. It gets more and more difficult to emotionally bounce back from flare-ups each time.

Fast forward to February of this year and I was on vacation and told my body, “it’s time to get going again.” I’ve been working out almost every day since. And whether it’s being a few years older or the Zoloft I started taking in December, the weight isn’t coming off the way it did a few years ago. I’m not eating anymore than before, but I think the Zoloft might have halted my metabolism, although it’s afforded me the ability to work out in the first place, amongst many other things that I have accomplished this year.

I’m not just casually strolling on the treadmill. I’m doing full on drenching sweat equity exercising between cardio and free weights. And I’m also well into boxing and I LOVE it! I LOVE boxing! Sparring with gloves and mitts is one of the best workouts I’ve ever had. It combines cardio and strength training and I get to hit things without getting hit back, yet!

While losing weight is a goal, I am learning to be kind to myself. Recognizing that my body has held up to surgeries, procedures, full out blissful dancing at concerts, skiing, car accidents, and two autoimmune diseases, and it still keeps going. That demands a modicum of respect for my body. Today I am strong, confident, and happy.

Dove body image campaign 2004