Compare

Compare

Compare (verb)
estimate, measure, or note the similarity or dissimilarity between

I was laying in bed one weekend morning a few weeks ago thinking about how much more I could be doing to grow my business, but then also thinking, how much business I was actually doing each week.

I’ve looked on LinkedIn and read about how people say you must have a business plan, and others who say you don’t if you’re doing what you already know. So as not to keep you holding your breath wondering, I dove in, feet first with little to no fear for the unknown or future. Because when you live with a disease like multiple sclerosis, you spend a lot of time comparing your current life to the one bMS (before MS).

A few weeks prior to this someone I know said I could never do what you’re doing professionally because it’s too uncertain. So now someone else was comparing themselves to me! To which I replied, how do you know that you’re going to have a job tomorrow? The answer, you don’t. So I am willing to bet on myself and not compare where I am currently to previous experiences, good or bad.

As we move about our daily lives both in person and online, it’s natural to make comparisons to others, both every day individuals and famous people. We’re told not to compare ourselves, because you never know the shoes someone else is walking in, but it’s inherent. It’s part of our DNA, to measure ourselves against others. We’re taught it from infants developing like our peers, grades, sports, arts, magazines, movies, TV, etc. How are you doing compared to the other?

And it’s not just about Oprah, Bill & Melinda Gates, or Sonia Sotomayor, we now have people who get their start on YouTube and Instagram. There are cats and dogs (and a baby giraffe) who are more notable than I will ever be, no, truly.  People will say, but don’t look at those things, which is impossible given it’s our way of life right now, and part of mine both personally (this blog and other mediums) and professionally.

I have a voice and a story and this is my way to get it out. Recently, I’ve had little wins where this blog and other social media accounts have been promoted by a very large multiple sclerosis organization totally unprompted. And people have told me they’ve been helped by MY story and MY experience. So, maybe one day, I will be as notable as your favorite dog or cat. But either way it’s ok, because I’m me and don’t need to be compared. 

When subscribing to / following the blog, please check your email (in box and spam/junk) for the confirmation note. Once you confirm, you’re good to go and will receive posts. 

Trust

Trust

Trust (noun)
firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something

As an American there is a lot not to trust right now. Trust in (most) of our government to have our best interests at heart is thoroughly in the toilet. It certainly has brought us together in a way I haven’t seen in decades, but it’s still a scary time trying to figure out who to trust.

Being diagnosed with multiple sclerosis I felt as though my body had betrayed me. I didn’t know my body anymore. I didn’t trust my body.

When you receive life altering information like this it turns your world upside down. Some say you can control it, or let it control you. I would argue that it’s not so simple.

Your body feels different every day. It’s hard to trust that it’s going to to be there for you on a daily basis, to support your physical and emotional needs. And you quickly learn that sometimes it doesn’t, which is extremely frustrating.

Trust in yourself is a different kind of trust, as opposed to putting your trust in others. It’s intrinsic, a gut feeling, and that was gone. In place of fear and uncertainty. We’re trained to deal with the uncertainty of life, or we couldn’t walk out of our front door each day. But this kind of news makes the uncertainty more uncertain.

I’m pretty out there, so when I was telling others about my diagnosis I didn’t worry so much about trusting the outcome. Though I often had it make it ok for others after I told them. You could see the change on their faces as the words came out of my mouth. I had to help THEM trust that I would be ok, especially the ones who knew nothing about multiple sclerosis.

There isn’t a day I wake up that I can forget that I have multiple sclerosis. For a split second, I wake up symptom free, think about the day ahead (usually hit the snooze button), and then remember. Remember that I have a neurological disease.

It’s taken me a very long time for that trust in my body. That it will do what I need, when I need it. In the last few years I’ve learned that it will be more than not. And part of learning to trust it again, is making to work it stronger. The stronger I get, the more I can trust it. And the more I don’t wake up each day thinking will this be the day another relapse happens. And I’m trusting that even if it does, that I can come out ok on the other side.