Body (noun)
the main part of a plant or animal body especially as distinguished from limbs and head
I haven’t written since November 2021, mainly because I just haven’t felt creative. Between the pandemic, politics, needing to actually work, and just the world feeling like a dumpster fire in general, has left my heart feeling broken. I do know that I’m safe and privileged. And I want this for everyone.
If you search “body’ on in your browser of choice, what comes up is thoroughly disturbing.
I’ve hated my own body for as long as I can remember, on the one hand. On the other hand, I look back at pictures of myself from 20 and 30 years ago and I wonder what why I felt the way I did because it was never nearly as bad as I thought. But society continues to tell us if you don’t look like a model, you aren’t worthy.
And then when I think about what my body has carried me through over 53 years and it makes me feel strong.
– lifelong illness starting from four years old
– physical abuse at the hands of someone who should have protected me
– appendix removed, two knee surgeries, two abortions
– being diagnosed with multiple sclerosis
– menopause
Alternatively
– standing up for injustice
– hugging people I love
– skiing, hiking, riding bikes, yoga, pilates, skating
– starting my own business
– traveling the world
– concerts
– exploring a glacier
– living overseas 4,000 miles away from home
– lost track how many times I’ve moved (some good, some not)
– taking care of family, friends, and strangers
– giving back to the communities I live in
Two Faces of MS 