Category: mental health

Menopause

Menopause (noun)
ceasing of menstruation

MS and menopause have so much in common.
– heat intolerance
– dry / itchy skin
– anxiety
– depression
– difficulty sleeping
– feelings of loss of self
– discomfort during sex
– difficulty sleeping
– fatigue
– hair loss or thinning
– join stiffness, aches, and pains
– loss of self-confidence
– night sweats
– palpitations
– UTIs
– tinnitus
– vaginal dryness & pain
– cognitive changes

It’s challenging going through menopause full stop, but layering a disease that mimics it makes it even worse. Compound that by gynecologists not having much experience with multiple sclerosis and it’s a recipe for disaster. So basically as a woman with MS, I get to play the daily is it the disease or is it menopause.

In a way I was “lucky” because I coasted through the beginning stage of menopause (period stopping) unscathed because I spent 10 years completely suppressing my period which was glorious. I wish I had done that years earlier. There is no reason to get a period except for ovulating to get pregnant. Otherwise, there is no medical reason for it. I wish I’d known that as a teenager, even with the best doctors no one ever provided this huge nugget of knowledge.

In the last few years I’ve learned a ton about hormone replacement therapy from professionals and reading several books. The current HRTs aren’t from the 90s. And moreover, they are safe (speak with your doctor) even if someone has had cancer. Further, there are amazing doctors now extolling the virtues of vaginal estrogen on the socials. I’m seeing post after post, “I was having frequent pain during sex, Dr. Winter (urologist) saved me during a visit with my gyn.” OR “my 90-year old mom frequently has altered mental state, and we found out they were urinary tract infections, and I asked her doctor about vaginal estrogen and she’s a new person.”

We need to normalize talking about what has historically been taboo and overwhelmingly women’s health. The more you know…

Resources

Low estradiol hormone levels tied to worse brain damage in menopause
Information for women with MS about the symptoms and long-term effects of menopause and how these can be managed
Menopause When You Have MS

15 Minutes with: Ashley Winter, M.D. Talks Urology, Sex and All Things Vaginas

Dr. Jen Gunter (ob/gyn) – information & books are fabulous, something for all ages Blood (about periods), Vagina Bible (all things…well you get the point), and Menopause Manifesto (I’ve read this twice)


Masking

Masking (verb)
– cover (the face) with a mask
– conceal (something) from view

The English language is a tricky bugger. We have so many words that mean different things. Take actual masking which everyone has become intimately involved with in the last three years (or not).

One form of masking is visible with some kind of face covering. The other is not so visible meaning you look one way on the outside and another inside. To coin a phrase from The Breakfast Club, “you see us how you want to see us.”

As humans, we are wired to seek acceptance and belonging. To fit in, we often wear masks, concealing our true emotions, fears, and insecurities. We convince ourselves that vulnerability is a weakness, fearing judgment and rejection.

In a world that often emphasizes the need to present ourselves as strong and put-together, many of us find ourselves wearing masks to hide our true emotions and struggles. Masking our mental health can lead to increased stress, isolation, and a lack of support.

My favorite phrase is, “what you see is what you get.” And I guess 90% of the time that’s totally true. But, o0f, that 10% like what I’m feeling now, that’s a doozy. When the devil feels like it’s sitting on both shoulders, telling you just slightly above a whisper that you’re useless.

During those 10% times, it’s everything I can do to get through the day professionally. When I’m done with work, there is less than zero in the tank to take care of me. They say not to make permanent decisions about temporary problems, but sometimes the whispers turn to shouts and the ruminating and pain bears the weight of the world down on your body.

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